Humor
Yes to the Dress? No, THE SUIT IS MOOT!
By Eshaal Ubaid
In light of a fairly niche senior prom theme, some students are excited to glam up! Others, however, have some more unconventionality up their sleeves…
Our Editors Are So Erratic
By Daniella Solomon, Samantha Ruinsky
Exposing the atrocities of the Humor department during Disrespectator season.
Inside the Stuyvesant Speech & Debate Team
By Eshaal Ubaid
We sent special investigators into the speech & debate team, perhaps to uncover their unnerving secrets.
Welcome to Stuyvesant University!
Stuyvesant High School accidentally invites college students to the open house.
Heyday of a Hardened Halal Cart Criminal
By Selina Lin
The life of a halal cart driver on the run from the law.
Students Explain What They Did On the SAT Day
By Mark Ionis
What does a day in the life of a Stuy student look like when there's no classes to restrain them?
The Feebie Jeebies and Facebook Junkies
By Nabiha Islam
The curse of the Feebie Jeebies often plague Stuyvesant students as they turn into Facebook Junkies at the start of a new semester.
Sophfrosh SING!: Holy Cow!
By Gabriella Hoefner, Michelle Huang, Munem Tajwar
We loved the cows so much! Oh, and there were also some songs and dances, I guess? Sorry, I fell asleep.
Senior SING! Plunders Pants From the Competition
By Adeline Sauberli, Michelle Huang, Munem Tajwar
The Class of 2024 finally eeks out a SING! win, at the costs of the audience’s wills to live.
New Achievement Unlocked, Recently!
Staying overnight at school, you’re finally able to execute your master plan.
Half Floor Renovated to Become Whole Floor
By Erica Liu
Freshman caucus co-president and cameraman film a video tour of the newly renovated Whole Half Floor.
Writing Your SSR: One That Worked
By Michelle Huang, Tamiyyah Shafiq
Every junior student submits an SSR (Secondary School Report) form to help their guidance counselor write an SSR for them for colleges. Here is one SSR that worked.
Are Leap Years Real? Scientists Want You to Think That!
By Selina Lin
Scientists invented leap years in order to get more vacation time.
Big Sib Program Expands To Include Parental Roles
By Erica Liu
The Big Sib Program expands to include parental roles.
The Rizzler’s Revenge
By Diya Mallu
A Stuyvesant high school student, fed up with love, tries to cause magical hatred, only to have his plan backfire horribly.
Opposite Day
By Jake Chan
A burnt-out Stuyvesant student ends up in a Stuy completely different than the one they know.
Santa or Satan?
Sending a letter to Santa at 3 a.m. gone wrong? (GONE WRONG) (POLICE CALLED) (SATAN CAME TO MY HOUSE!)
Villainous Valentine Vendettas: What REALLY Happens to the Gifts That Never Make it to Your Homerooms
The truth of what happened to the Valentine’s gifts that never made it to your homeroom is finally revealed.
The Escalator Disaster
The Humor Department investigates the sinister cause of malfunctioning escalators.
A Snackless Stuy: Eric Adams’s Budget Cuts Forces School to Sell All Vending Machines
By Eshaal Ubaid
The DOE’s budget cuts force Stuy to sell all of its vending machines, the lifeline of fast-paced and hungry students.
How to Get Disowned by Your Children: Worst Holiday Gifts EVER The Spectator / Humor / Issue 10
By Aahan Shah
Describing the five worst Christmas gifts people got.
Real Date v.s. AI Partner: Which One is Better?
Comparing and contrasting a real significant other with an AI chatbot to see which is better.
From the Mayor’s Office: Goodbye to Cookies, Reading, and Staten Island
Mayor Adams, if you can read this, please don’t take away our milk.
Best Ultimate Rizz Lines to Get You a Girlfriend or Boyfriend
By Fiona 'Eve' Lin, Maisha Thakur
Focus Sentence:
The Top Secret Rizzy Basement Dweller Lab
As one of the top-ranking high schools in New York, anyone would expect Stuyvesant students to be the smartest high school students there are, but recent leakage of top-secret research claims that their knowledge is all artificial and that there’s a catch to these intelligent workaholics.
Tips To Get Your College Recs: Fail-Safe for the Fools
By Daniella Solomon, Sasha Ruinsky
Follow these six fail-safe tips to get the college recommendation letter of your dreams.
A Stuy Guide to Mastering Your New Year’s Resolutions
A comprehensive guide to accomplishing all your goals for the New Year!
Elf Protest Against Santa Start Amidst Allegations of Workshop Mistreatment
By Selina Lin
Elves gathered in demonstrations across the North Pole to protest poor working conditions in Santa’s Workshop.
The Nightmares Before Christmas
Various modifications are made to the school to get everyone into that nice holiday spirit! What could possibly go wrong?
SING: The Board Game is Coming to a Store Near You!
SING has been board-game-ified! Read on to learn how to play this exciting new game!
Yes to the Dress? No, THE SUIT IS MOOT!
By Eshaal Ubaid
In light of a fairly niche senior prom theme, some students are excited to glam up! Others, however, have some more unconventionality up their sleeves…
Our Editors Are So Erratic
By Daniella Solomon, Samantha Ruinsky
Exposing the atrocities of the Humor department during Disrespectator season.
Inside the Stuyvesant Speech & Debate Team
By Eshaal Ubaid
We sent special investigators into the speech & debate team, perhaps to uncover their unnerving secrets.
Welcome to Stuyvesant University!
Stuyvesant High School accidentally invites college students to the open house.
Heyday of a Hardened Halal Cart Criminal
By Selina Lin
The life of a halal cart driver on the run from the law.
Students Explain What They Did On the SAT Day
By Mark Ionis
What does a day in the life of a Stuy student look like when there's no classes to restrain them?
The Feebie Jeebies and Facebook Junkies
By Nabiha Islam
The curse of the Feebie Jeebies often plague Stuyvesant students as they turn into Facebook Junkies at the start of a new semester.
Sophfrosh SING!: Holy Cow!
By Gabriella Hoefner, Michelle Huang, Munem Tajwar
We loved the cows so much! Oh, and there were also some songs and dances, I guess? Sorry, I fell asleep.
Senior SING! Plunders Pants From the Competition
By Adeline Sauberli, Michelle Huang, Munem Tajwar
The Class of 2024 finally eeks out a SING! win, at the costs of the audience’s wills to live.
New Achievement Unlocked, Recently!
Staying overnight at school, you’re finally able to execute your master plan.
Help! I’m Trapped in the Junior SING! Exhibit, and Now I’m Forced to Watch PDA!
How unhinged can a night at the museum really be? Junior SING! shows you that… and then some!
Half Floor Renovated to Become Whole Floor
By Erica Liu
Freshman caucus co-president and cameraman film a video tour of the newly renovated Whole Half Floor.
Writing Your SSR: One That Worked
By Michelle Huang, Tamiyyah Shafiq
Every junior student submits an SSR (Secondary School Report) form to help their guidance counselor write an SSR for them for colleges. Here is one SSR that worked.
Villainous Valentine Vendettas: What REALLY Happens to the Gifts That Never Make it to Your Homerooms
The truth of what happened to the Valentine’s gifts that never made it to your homeroom is finally revealed.
Are Leap Years Real? Scientists Want You to Think That!
By Selina Lin
Scientists invented leap years in order to get more vacation time.
The Escalator Disaster
The Humor Department investigates the sinister cause of malfunctioning escalators.
A Snackless Stuy: Eric Adams’s Budget Cuts Forces School to Sell All Vending Machines
By Eshaal Ubaid
The DOE’s budget cuts force Stuy to sell all of its vending machines, the lifeline of fast-paced and hungry students.
Big Sib Program Expands To Include Parental Roles
By Erica Liu
The Big Sib Program expands to include parental roles.
How to Get Disowned by Your Children: Worst Holiday Gifts EVER The Spectator / Humor / Issue 10
By Aahan Shah
Describing the five worst Christmas gifts people got.
The Rizzler’s Revenge
By Diya Mallu
A Stuyvesant high school student, fed up with love, tries to cause magical hatred, only to have his plan backfire horribly.
Opposite Day
By Jake Chan
A burnt-out Stuyvesant student ends up in a Stuy completely different than the one they know.
Real Date v.s. AI Partner: Which One is Better?
Comparing and contrasting a real significant other with an AI chatbot to see which is better.
From the Mayor’s Office: Goodbye to Cookies, Reading, and Staten Island
Mayor Adams, if you can read this, please don’t take away our milk.
Best Ultimate Rizz Lines to Get You a Girlfriend or Boyfriend
By Fiona 'Eve' Lin, Maisha Thakur
Focus Sentence:
The Top Secret Rizzy Basement Dweller Lab
As one of the top-ranking high schools in New York, anyone would expect Stuyvesant students to be the smartest high school students there are, but recent leakage of top-secret research claims that their knowledge is all artificial and that there’s a catch to these intelligent workaholics.
Tips To Get Your College Recs: Fail-Safe for the Fools
By Daniella Solomon, Sasha Ruinsky
Follow these six fail-safe tips to get the college recommendation letter of your dreams.
Santa or Satan?
Sending a letter to Santa at 3 a.m. gone wrong? (GONE WRONG) (POLICE CALLED) (SATAN CAME TO MY HOUSE!)
A Stuy Guide to Mastering Your New Year’s Resolutions
A comprehensive guide to accomplishing all your goals for the New Year!
Humor Editor Exposé
By Gabriella Hoefner, Virgenya Zhu
An investigation into the new editors of the Spectator Humor department— and their deep, dark secrets.
The Santa Who Stole Christmas
By Diya Mallu
A Stuyvesant student wakes up on Christmas morning with no presents and decides to go to the North Pole to argue with Santa for them.
