Humor

Students Explain What They Did On the SAT Day

What does a day in the life of a Stuy student look like when there's no classes to restrain them?

Reading Time: 3 minutes

“Of course I took the free SAT. I have no joy in life other than standardized testing.” —Stai Studen, Junior


“Yeah, I took the test again. I knew it was over when I got to the second math module and it was easy.” —Itzjoe Ver, Junior


“I went and took the SAT again. I already have a 1580, but I thought, ‘you know what would be funny?’” —That One Guy, Junior


“Honestly, after sitting outside the bathroom for four hours, I'd rather have taken the test myself.” —School Custodian


“I wasn't planning on taking the SAT, but my muscle memory kicked in and I found myself in  school at 8:00 a.m. anyways.” —N. P. See, Sophomore


“I came into school at 7:00 a.m. for a SciOly tournament. I was surprised the sun was still up by the time I left my house.”—Fi Zhik Fan, Senior


“I assigned all my students a quiz. What else do we have freedom of speech for?” —A Physics Teacher, Probably


“Um... I slept in and woke up at 4:00 p.m. That's all I remember from that day.” —That One Friend That Always Collapses on the Weekends


“I got stuck on the R train for two hours. Hey, at least it arrived today!” —Brooklyn Resden, Sophomore


“SAT? What’s that?” —Clue Les, Freshmen


“I dissociated at home for the whole day. Things haven't been the same since we lost SING!.” —Sopha Moore, Desperate


“I spent the day biking with my friend from Staten Island. I made sure to take the opportunity to stare down all the ignorant yokels who call that place home. Can’t believe people actually live there…” —Brooklyn Resden, Proud R Train Taker


"I spent three hours on Instagram watching W reels and practicing my mewing. Can’t miss an excellent opportunity for brainrotmaxxing!" —Jen Alfa, Freshman 


"I made my middle school friends do a blind taste test of Terry's and Ferry's sandwiches. They preferred the Ferry’s sandwiches. Then I promptly sterilized them to remove their vile taste from the gene pool." —Patriotic Freshman


"I went on StuyConfessions and made fun of those inferior scoundrels that go to Brooklyn Tech. Just doing my part as a professional hater." —That One Friend That Actively Checks Facebook


"I sat and pondered. Without any homework due, it occurred to me just how completely devoid  of meaning my life is." —This could be anyone at Stuy honestly 


"Schools's been a lot lately. I haven't caught much of a break recently, and it was getting to me, so I just ... stepped outside. And I took a walk down Chambers Street. I’ll be honest, I was a bit frightened. There was all this green stuff on the ground everywhere? I haven’t stepped outside in about three months, and it all seemed so strange to me. But…it was really nice. I've forgotten how beautiful nature can be." —Clash Royale player


"I sat down and started studying for APs. Did you know we’re over 70 percent of the way through the school year?" —skull emoji skull emoji skull emoji


"Don’t even mention the SAT to me. I’m already struggling as is; my physics grade is in shambles, my precalc grade pains me, and my last APUSH test grade was my lowest yet. I'm starting to think the academic comeback isn't happening. It's so over for me." —actually me fr


"I saw God. He told me I should get more sleep." —Second Semester Junior


"I took the SAT. It was alright." —Ava Redge, Junior