Humor

Inspirational - These Four Stuyvesant Teachers Owe Their Lives to Cereal Mascots

Have you heard the story of your teacher’s cereal encounter?

Reading Time: 3 minutes

As the old adage goes, all Stuyvesant teachers have two things in common—they teach at Stuyvesant, and they have undergone a near-death experience from which they were rescued at the last minute by the advertising mascot for a popular breakfast cereal. We asked several teachers to tell their stories.

Vincent Miller, Physical Education teacher

Mr. Miller is a well-known figure at Stuyvesant, having taught physical education for many years as well as coached some of Stuyvesant’s most successful sports teams. What many students may not know about him, however, is that as a young man he was saved from being hit by a car by popular cereal mascot triplets Snap, Crackle, and Pop. “I was crossing the street,” he said, stroking his chin as he recalled the moment. “And suddenly a car came around the corner out of nowhere toward me. I was frozen. Luckily, Snap, Crackle, and Pop were there to save me. They managed to stop the car in its tracks with their superhuman Krispie powers.” Mr. Miller went on to describe the three brothers as “really great, cool guys,” saying that they even gave the driver a stern talking-to about safe driving afterward.

Lisa Greenwald, Social Studies teacher

Before Dr. Greenwald decided to pursue a career in history, she played semi-professional lacrosse in Hartford, Connecticut. As center defensive end for the Hartford Hailstorm, she battled valiantly for the tri-state championship. One game, however, her heroic defending almost ended badly for the regional MVP, as an opponent’s misdirected shot ricocheted off the goalpost and back at Dr. Greenwald’s head. “I don’t know what would have happened if it wasn’t for Cap’n Crunch. I don’t want to think about the possibilities,” she chuckles slightly, shaking her head. Ironically, contrary to his popular slogan, it seems the Cap’n actually saved Dr. Greenwald from being Crunch-A-Tized. “He caught the ball one-handedly about four inches before it hit me. An amazing feat of physical prowess from a guy who’s most famous for selling sugar-laden grain products.” As well as being a veritable superathlete, Cap’n Crunch is apparently also a great conversationalist. “We still meet up sometimes for coffee,” Dr. Greenwald said. “Did you know that he’s making a limited-edition Halloween cereal?”

Debbie Goldberg, Mathematics teacher

Ms. Goldberg’s encounter with fate and grains actually occurred on her first day of teaching at Stuyvesant. Originally, that first day was going to be spent teaching health. Going in, she said, “I was a little self-conscious that I’d be the only teacher who had never been rescued by a cereal promotional character.” Her anxiety over this fact was undue, however. As she exited the Chambers Street ACE station, a loose piling from a nearby scaffold came thundering down. At that point, Ms. Goldberg said, “My life was flashing before my eyes. I thought it was curtains for sure.” Just before the metal beam dealt the final blow, however, Larry the Quaker from the Quaker Oats box managed to intervene, bundling Ms. Goldberg out of harm’s way. “I don’t remember anything after that super clearly,” she said. “But one thing I do remember is him saying something like, ‘Prithee, tell me what discipline thou intends to teach at Stuyvesant High School.’ When I told him health, he seemed disappointed, and he convinced me to become a math teacher instead. I’m so glad he did. Otherwise, I never would have discovered my passion for differentiation.” I’m sure Ms. Goldberg’s students will agree that her sudden career change was good for them, too.

David Hanna, Social Studies teacher

The summer after he graduated from college, Mr. Hanna and a couple of friends decided to take a sailing trip down the east coast of the United States, starting in Bangor, Maine, and ending in Miami. Around Cape Cod, their trip hit a snag. “We felt a jolt,” Mr. Hanna recalled, “and we knew something serious had happened. I rushed below decks, and I could immediately tell that we were taking on dangerous amounts of water.” They signalled for help and started to bail, but the boat was sinking lower and lower in the water. “Just as we were getting desperate, Sam the Toucan appeared on the horizon. You know, Sam? From Froot Loops? One by one, he lifted us off the boat with his beak and flew us to shore, several miles away,” he said. The encounter had two main consequences: one, it left Mr. Hanna with a lasting respect for Froot Loops, and two, Sam the Toucan became the first coast guard toucan in the continental United States.