Humor

Are Leap Years Real? Scientists Want You to Think That!

Scientists invented leap years in order to get more vacation time.

Reading Time: 2 minutes

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By Jaden Bae

Have you ever noticed how winter starts later each year? How summer never seems to end until the end of the year itself?

 No, it’s not your senses playing tricks on you. It really is the seasons shifting every year. It’s none of that global warming or pollution stuff people say it is. We still do get snow, just way later. How could that be? 

Turns out, it might not even be winter right now. Or spring. Or 2024. 

For ages now, scientists have been promoting the idea of a “leap day.” But why do we even need such a thing? It’s not really because of a “mismatch between the calendar year and Earth's orbit,” as NASA claims it to be. No, no, no, my dear misinformed reader. It’s because the scientists who promote it want more vacations.

Instead of believing baseless claims, trust your own eyes: clearly calendars say there are 365 days! Why do we need an extra day if it does nothing but confuse us as to what day it is in February? 

But why would the scientists lie? Shouldn't they have scientific integrity? 

Think about it—an extra day every four years that’s completely fake? Clearly, that’s the day all scientists and academics with degrees and fancy pieces of paper have collectively agreed to go on vacations to the Alps or Malta. Despite how crazy it sounds (since scientists are known to still be debating if dinosaurs had feathers even after finding out that dinosaurs didn’t exist), this would have to have been a large and carefully coordinated plan to pull the wool over everyone’s eyes. They’re able to manipulate people into thinking they’re “woke” and “scientifically correct” by perpetuating this leap year lie. Us unaware sheeple have to work and toil away at our real jobs flipping hamburger patties and making sandwiches for an extra day, all while the scientists get to enjoy the fruits of their scheming. 

Even some scientists know about the consequences of the lies they keep perpetuating! Dr. Nomeddegre, founder of the Superior Methodical Academics with Real Training (SMART) has widely spoken out about the lies spread by his colleagues.

“According to the latest studies by the Institute of Medieval Timey Things, calendar years only last for 364.67 days, which is basically the same thing as 365 flat. The state of the art timegraphers from 1905 could never be wrong! These scientists just want more, gasp, paid leave!”

 SMART states that scientists, since the dawn of calendars, have schemed for extra vacations, from Archimedes to Da Vinci to Einstein. One of SMART’s latest initiatives is a series of educational lectures given at schools, libraries, and pizza parlors nationwide. They have enlightened many as they toured the country, and opened their eyes to the big sham.

People have gone too long blindly trusting scientists. Universities, filled with “woke” and “educated” people are the prime recruiting stations of these scientists, grabbing up the youth and quickly indoctrinating them to the cause. These universities are the ones to hand out degrees, especially in so-called “higher education,” controlling who gets to be in the know. Scientists have carefully limited the spread of this information about leap years in order to preserve their privileges. Yet these scientists are only men, and man is not infallible. Their scheme can be unraveled, one person at a time. Don’t stay a woke sheep; open your eyes! Don’t fall for their lies! Do your own research! Don’t let them win!