Ambiguous Emergency Policies Impact Stuyvesant Readiness

During first period on Thursday, October 30, Assistant Principal of Security, Student Affairs, Health, and Physical Education Brian Moran called an unannounced soft lockdown. This was the first unannounced lockdown to occur at Stuyvesant. The soft lockdown was initiated after Moran received reports of a potential threat to building safety. At the beginning of first

Gabe Rosen and Justin Kong by Jin Hee Yoo COLOR

Gabe Rosen and Justin Kong

We have seen a year with little progress made in advancing students’ rights. The election of current leaders Eddie Zilberbrand and Keiran Carpen was without a popular mandate and marred by controversy, which is justified. As The Spectator pointed out in a recent editorial, Zilberbrand and Carpen failed to follow through on most of their


Issue5_Art_Suicide Piece (Alisa Su)


It was my senior year, back in spring 1980, more than 30 years ago, making me outdated by today’s supersonic standards. I come from the era before Twitter, Skype, Hulu, Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram, and all those other technological wonders. My New York City was bankrupt, filthy, covered in graffiti, and menaced by the Son of

“Asian” at Stuy

Asian-Americans make up 72.5 percent of Stuyvesant’s student population, and it’s no secret. We have heard this number thrown around in the news and in conversation. Whether Stuyvesant’s competitive culture or a possible change to the SHSAT is being discussed, the media seems to include this percentage without explanation of what these demographics really mean.


Kid Doesn’t Even Know What “Augment” Means

On Thursday, November 6, junior Galen Ng reportedly misused the word “augment” in his precalculus class while describing the rotation of a graph, revealing that Ng probably didn’t even freaking know what the word means. Inside sources report that Ng said, “You just rotate the parabola and augment the y-axis,” indicating that the imbecile either


Athlete’s Foot Bad, Although Probably Not as Bad as Athlete’s Face

High school athletes—along with Jesus, Nelson Mandela, and Brian Scalabrine—are the most widely worshipped people in America. On the surface they have it all: charisma, killer abs, and the attention of the nation’s top colleges. But underneath that façade of confidence and ease, these brave boys and girls carry the weight of the world on

Pennants by Stephanie Chen COLOR

Victims’ Names Revealed to be Inscribed on Cocoros’ Pennants

On the second day of parent-teacher conferences, beloved math teacher Jim Cocoros revealed to a small crowd of stunned parents that the names written on college pennants hung around his classroom are not just the names of his former students. They are actually the names of the many Stuyvesant seniors that he has sacrificed to

Art & Entertainment

Vive La Vie Bohème

The Stuyvesant Theater Community (STC) is no stranger to taking on large productions, admittedly to sometimes mixed results. While bedeviled by certain problems, this year’s fall musical, “Rent,” was also excellent in some areas. (The STC also puts on a winter drama and a spring comedy). “Rent,” a reworking of Puccini’s opera “La Bohème,” takes

Jeff Koons: A Retrospective

A giant pile of colorful Play-Doh, peculiarly resembling dog excrement, towers over its beholders. Coincidentally, there is an equally large poodle on the other side of the room. Both recognizable works of art by Jeff Koons, “Play-Doh” and “Balloon Dog (Yellow),” are currently on display in the Whitney Museum of American Art. The Jeff Koons

Issue5_Art_Monogram Murders (Bonny Truong)

Sandwiches—and Poison—at Teatime

Hercule Poirot is less familiar to Americans, and young people in particular, than his predecessor, Sherlock Holmes, but his creator is certainly not. Agatha Christie is the second-best-selling fiction author of all time, behind only her countryman Shakespeare. Everyone is at least passing familiar with “And Then There Were None” and “Murder on the Orient

The Wages of Sin

Who pulled the trigger? After the gruesome murder of the extraterrestrial Watcher at the start of Marvel Comics’ latest miniseries, “Original Sin,” this is the question on the minds of every hero in the Marvel Universe. The Watcher was introduced by Stan Lee and artist Jack Kirby in 1963’s “Fantastic Four #13” as an omniscient

Issue5_Art_Horns (Yujie Fu)

Horns of a Dilemma

Daniel Radcliffe has come a long way since he was first introduced to mainstream audiences in 2001, when he starred as the title character in “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone.” Since the end of the “Harry Potter” series in 2011, Radcliffe has remained active in film and has branched out into other genres. For

How to Eat Snow

There is only one place in New York City to get a dessert that tastes like falling snow in a magically flavored land. On 10th Street between First and Second Ave in the East Village, Snowdays Shavery serves a concoction called “snow cream”—it is neither ice cream nor shaved ice, but it’s something like shaved

Vive La Vie Bohème

The Stuyvesant Theater Community (STC) is no stranger to taking on large productions, admittedly to sometimes mixed results. While bedeviled by certain problems, this year’s fall musical, “Rent,” was also excellent in some areas. (The STC also puts on a winter drama and a spring comedy). “Rent,” a reworking of Puccini’s opera “La Bohème,” takes

Issue4_Art_You're Dead (Sunny Chen)

What Comes After

The inevitability of death is one of the few things we all share, and yet it is, perhaps, among the most divisive. With “You’re Dead!” (2014), experimental music producer Steven Ellison—better known as Flying Lotus (or FlyLo, for short)—presents an interpretation that’s far less gloomy than what we’re used to. If the trippy album art

Clowns, Elephants, Freaks, and Creatures Beyond: Enter the SING!ing Circus!

Welcome to the Junior SING!ing circus! Get ready for the show of a lifetime, where you’ll witness dysfunctional families, adorable romances, catchy tunes, and more! Junior SING!, led by Coordinator Emily Ruby and Producers Isaac Gluck, Natalie Ruby, Claire Burghard, and Chloe Long, produced an engaging, but sometimes perplexing, circus to watch. The script, written

The Good, the Passable, and the Boring: Fall TV

Though upperclassmen may only emerge from their fog of college-related activities long enough to marvel at the fact that the outside world goes on, the fall TV season is well underway. The big networks have a remarkable crop of shows this autumn, though NBC may be searching yet again for a perennial hit come next


Pinheads Beat Lady Blazers Again to Finish Regular Season Undefeated

Earlier this season, the Pinheads defeated the Murry Bergtraum Lady Blazers 2-0. Confident in their rematch on Monday, October 20, the Pinheads entered the game. Unsurprisingly, they won yet again with a score of 3-0. Team A for the Pinheads had a slow start, but finished well. Senior and co-captain Fawn Wong finished with a


Issue5_Art_Sleeping Students (Yujie Fu)

“When you see a Student Sleeping…”

Dr. Steven O’Malley, Chemistry: “I stand by students talking loudly, ask neighbors to wake them up, [or] lower [their] participation grade. I also re-evaluate myself as to what made my lesson so boring that students fell asleep.” Samuel Konstantinovich, Computer Science: “It depends on the frequency of the action and the personality of the student…

College Essay: Shannon Daniels

What matters most to you and why? My family is a blend of roast pork with rice, corned-beef, and cabbage: we consume culture just as much as food. We visit relatives for Christmas dinners as well as honor the Buddhist tradition of laying out a picnic beneath a loved one’s tombstone. Of all the things

Say Hi to Hell’s New Barber Shop of Doom

7TH CIRCLE, HELL – For the umpteenth millennia, sentient life forms with vile hairdos have yet again terrorized our sacred planet and spread bad hairdo-itis through annoying commercials and slogans. Hell’s newest torture workshop, the Barber Shop of Doom, was built just to contain criminals whose hair is violent to all eyes. Located in the