Kayaking Class To Be Held in the Third Floor Gym

kayak
Photo by Kaia Waxenberg and playazaragoza.com
To meet the demand for specialty physical education classes, which now include ballroom dancing, rollerblading, competitive rock climbing, chess, advanced curling, and actual exercising, the physical education department has decided to introduce a new class: kayaking.

Originally, the plan was to hold the class in the Hudson River, but the river did not pass any of the 683 Department of Education (DOE) Health and Safety Regulations. Plan B was the first floor pool, but it did not offer enough space. Plan C was the eleventh floor pool, but when the DOE health inspectors arrived at Stuyvesant to inspect it, they could not find it.

Plan D, the current plan of attack, and the only one to be approved by the DOE, is to offer the class in the third floor gym and gymnastics gym. Though the kayaks would not be in water, they would still be on wheels, and students could repeatedly whack their paddles against the ground to move. In fact, maneuvering the kayaks under these conditions would provide students with a good opportunity to strengthen their abdominals and arm and leg muscles.

Because the administration has found no physical education teacher who wants to teach this class, Assistant Principal of Health and Physical Education Brian Moran will be teaching it. The administration is confident that this will be one of Stuyvesant’s most coveted classes.

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