Christmas Gift Recommendations For the Desperate

1: Are their backpacks falling apart from all of their textbooks, 27-section binders, lab notebooks, and SAT review books? If so, get them a wheelie backpack. They’ll be sure to flaunt their new set of wheels without causing any inconvenience and scorn at all. Adorn it with jingle bells for the holiday spirit!

2: If they’re into makeup, send nudes! Makeup brands ranging from Sephora to Nyx will be having huge sales, and you can get all the nudes you want. Just don’t flirt too much with the store employees!

3: Hand-knit them a fabulous Christmas sweater. If you’re not sure if you will finish it in time, or if you’re having problems learning how to knit, just buy them one and pretend that you made it. Remember to cut off the tags!

4: Make them the quintessential Christmas beverage—eggnog! Be sure to use Red Bull instead of milk and add espresso instead of cream. They will have the holiday jitters in no time!

5: If all else fails, you can give them the most thoughtful gift of all—a gift card!

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