Disrespectator articles

college mail
Photo by Kaia Waxenberg

Junior Found Dead Under Six-Foot Tall Pile of College Mail

Junior Found Dead Under Six-Foot Tall Pile of College Mail

Last week, a Stuyvesant student was found dead in her room under a six-foot tall pile of college mail, consisting of at least 100 letters. Junior Alexa Berg was covered in paper cuts. Her fingers were in between a letter from the Ohio College of Clown Arts. Her mother said that right before she bled

kayak
Photo by Kaia Waxenberg and playazaragoza.com

Kayaking Class To Be Held in the Third Floor Gym

To meet the demand for specialty physical education classes, which now include ballroom dancing, rollerblading, competitive rock climbing, chess, advanced curling, and actual exercising, the physical education department has decided to introduce a new class: kayaking. Originally, the plan was to hold the class in the Hudson River, but the river did not pass any

brie

Why We’re All Cannibals

Imagine being carted away and going through painful sterilization treatments as soon as you are born. Imagine being shredded into tiny little strips or being squeezed to death between two ever-closing walls. All these horrors, and more, are being committed to millions of innocent little Cheese blocks every single day. They have no childhood. They

A Stuyvesant Student Extra Ordinaire

It’s true. Stuyvesant has enough talented students to make any other specialized high school want to wallow in a bottomless pit of shame. That kid who sits next to you in Freshman Composition? He has probably published a novel successful enough to provide himself a steady income until retirement. That student in your history class

sing pets

SING! Leaders’ Pets as Performers: Nepotism or Last Resort?

Although the buzz surrounding the annual student-made production, SING!, has somewhat faded out of the students’ banal lunch period discussions, recent controversy surrounding casted performers has sparked rumors of widespread nepotism behind closed doors. As is customary with SING!, only a few chosen ones are allowed to spearhead the production and actually participate on stage.

Donald Trump Announces Plan to Keep Out Migrating Monarch Butterflies

Speaking at a rally in Appleton, Wisconsin last Thursday, March 24, businessman and Republican Presidential Candidate Donald Trump called for a wall to prevent potentially dangerous monarch butterflies from illegally crossing the border into the United States as they make their annual migration across North America. “Donald J. Trump is calling for a total and

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