Disrespectator articles

An Open Letter to Stuyvesant

Dear Stuyvesant,   I don’t think I’ve ever told you this, but I love you. From walking through the bridge entrance on that very first day (after getting yelled at and kicked out by the security guards at the main entrance), to smiling through my tears as teachers assign my fifth project of the week,

PCP: The Other Racist White Thing

The following was written and then cut from breitbart   The Racism of L’actose   Every day you walk into the lunchroom, wait on a long line, and get milk. But, for approximately 87.568% of people at Stuyvesant, this isn’t an option. Why? Because they’re l’actose intolerant. Dictionary.com defines lactose intolerant as “unable to digest

Could a $10.00 Cactus Change your Life?

Chelsea The first time I opened up the app, I had hoped for more than just the lonely animated cactus I saw at the center of my screen. I tapped once, expecting nothing to happen. After three or so taps, however, I was interested in the tiny icons that would appear and float away from

Songs to Listen to Whilst Pooping

There is nary a more tranquil time in a person’s day-to-day than the brief moments spent seated on the toilet freeing the excrement from your bowels. The sheer pleasure of these special moments perfectly complements this equally stimulating playlist. The next time you find yourself on the John, take a moment to plug in your

2017 Political Oscars

Trump’s tweets: Best Screenplay   This year’s candidates from Best Screenplay had a large variety, ranging from Hillary “Crooked” Clinton’s classical performance of “Healthy Presidential Candidate” to more modern pieces like a repeated video loop strangely titled “Cash Me Outside.” However, one clear winner outshines them all: “Tweeting Rainbow.” The alternative documentary piece innovatively uses

The Honest Reviews That You’ve Been Missing

Have you had enough of misleading movie reviews written by incompetent critics? Well have no fear, there is finally an extremely qualified expert and general scholar available to bring the truth to the people: me.   The Best Movies of All Time   The Last Airbender – This world renowned film is perhaps the best

PTC Evasion Methods

While many parents insist on attending Parent Teacher Conferences (PTC) as an opportunity to slip a Franklin to teachers, most students dread PTC. “It’s the night my parents gossip with my teachers about why I am a disappointment,” junior Vivien Lee said. Rather than improving their grades or talking with their teachers, many students have

What You Missed At Spectator Recruitments

           For everyone who missed the Spectator Recruitments, shame on you. Allow me to just gloat about it and make y’all feel terrible.         First off, let’s take a look at me—yes, me, not-funny Humor editor! If you write for the Spectator, you can be 98.7491 percent as awesome as me! (You’ll never be just as

Student Admitted to Meme Rehab After Near-Fatal Meme Overdose

Junior Daniel Ju was admitted to the Meme Rehabilitation Center on Saturday, April 1, after a meme overdose triggered by 29 hours of viewing memes non-stop. Ju was last seen waiting in line with many other fellow memers to be admitted to the center’s highly expensive, highly exclusive Meme Rehab for Millennials (MRM) Program. Stuyvesant

The Stuyle Guide

Did you know, The Spectator has a department called “Copy”!? What does this “Copy” department even do? Copy articles from other publications?  Actually, no. We aren’t the Huaxia Journal.   The Copy Department is generally ignored by the entire board until it’s asked to proofread The Spektater for grammer mistakes. The following excerpts are taken