Author Archives: Kenny Lin

Art Humor SING Top 5
Art by Courtney Chiu

The Unsung Heroes of SING! 2017

The Unsung Heroes of SING! 2017

Costumes, Soph-Frosh Soph-Frosh SING! had one of its strongest showings in years. The acting was surprisingly excellent and was only enhanced by the costumes and character choice. There were no better examples of this than Tootsie Roll, who was a candy version of the movie depiction of the early 2000’s internet sensation Fred, and whatever

Confessions of a Humor Writer

Since the dawn of time, Humor writers have faced the immense difficulty of finding inspiration for articles. “We’ve tried everything from creativity pills to ancient article dances,” said junior and Humor writer Kenny Lin. Writer’s block was creating a wall more formidable than that of Donald Trump’s imagination. In the midst of this drought, the

Stuyvesant Speaks to Harambe Through Ouija Board

The Stuyvesant Spiritual Club, in an attempt to attract members, promised to contact Harambe with a Ouija board during its interest meeting last week. “We were planning on broadcasting the results across the loudspeaker,” senior and co-founder James Lee said. “At first, we were worried that no one would believe us, but then we realized

Boy Seeking Girl: A Résumé

Curriculum Vitae [Insert $waggy and slightly photoshopped photo here] Name: Deepak Ali Mobile: 917-666-XXXX Email: [email protected] Objective: I’m looking for a casual relationship with a female at this school that is aged anywhere from 15-18, preferably with a GPA of at least 88.3 (but at this point, I don’t really care about GPA) and also

Students Stage Strike for AP Waivers

CHAMBERS STREET—On Thursday, April 8, 2016, Stuyvesant had a 0.03329 percent attendance rate, the lowest rate since April 7, 2016. Many of the absent students were at home compiling a multitude of petitions and posting angry rants on Facebook as part of a protest against the elimination of Advanced Placement (AP) waivers, in a


Why We’re All Cannibals

Imagine being carted away and going through painful sterilization treatments as soon as you are born. Imagine being shredded into tiny little strips or being squeezed to death between two ever-closing walls. All these horrors, and more, are being committed to millions of innocent little Cheese blocks every single day. They have no childhood. They

SING! Highlights

1) Senior Flow Senior flow was perhaps one of the best flow performances of all time, smoothly combining the use of expensive props and raw and awesome senior vibes. Representing fire, flow not only defied the laws of physics by sprouting an entire crew of flames, but also defied the laws of physics by sprouting


Rowboats and Cruise Ships Are Pretty Much the Same Thing

Lack of funding will not be a problem if we replace the classic luxury cruise ship that usually hosts JProm with a luxury rowboat. Let’s face it—there isn’t much of a different between them; they’re both boats, and they both go on the water. And although one may seem more impressive, you probably won’t even

Ms. Maggio Shuts Off School’s Lights

Stuyvesant experienced a mini-blackout on Wednesday, December 23, in which the lights of the three-to-five escalator suddenly went out, causing fear and pandemonium amongst escalator riders. The situation further degraded when freshman Chloe Doumar, who could not be chased down to be interviewed, panicked and brought the escalator to a screeching halt with her 100-pound